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Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on campus for his second year of college. Once you got past the slightly awkward opening, though, the story arc took shape in a well-defined progression of events that made life on the spaceship reasonable and believable if the reader is capable of believing science fiction at all. Some readers aren’t, you know.”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc. She was in the living area. Connecting them was just an open archway about 4 feet wide. We were hidden from each other by one of the walls between the rooms, adjacent to the doorway.I was able to slip up next to the door frame, undetected."MMMMmmm. Yes! That feels good!" she hissed.I tilted my head to see around the door frame and saw one of our young pages talking to someone on her cell phone. Her jeans were unfastened and halfway down her thighs and her free hand was in the front of her panties and rubbing her pussy gently.A Library Page, at least at our Library, is usually a high school student. In our case, we had seven pages in our employ right now. One of them is 14, two are 15, two are 16, one is 17 and one is 18. Truthfully, I didn't know how old she was, or even what her name was. We treat Pages kind of like new fighter/bomber crew-members were treated during WWI and WWII. You didn't bother getting to know them very well, because very likely they wouldn't be around very.
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